Already Thinking About Next Year

Hey guys,

It’s kind of strange how my mind finds new ways to create additional stress for me without any effort. As soon as one issue is resolved, I move onto the next, kind of like a machine.

That thought really sucks, but I’m not going to go into more detail.

The most recent way I’ve found to add more stress to my ball of already overwhelming stress is to worry about the classes I need to take over the next couple of years, getting my master’s and PhD, and the logistics of all of that. But most pressing, of course, are my classes for next year.

After my last summer, which didn’t go so well, I’ve been hesitant to consider taking more summer classes. However, this summer they are offering a course that I don’t really want to take next winter because if I do, I’ll risk taking five classes again… which I’m not sure I’m ready to try again after all the stress. So, I’ve been thinking about getting it over with. I’m just waiting to talk to an academic advisor to ensure that it will satisfy the requirements for my degree, because it’s not the kind of class that I want to take just “for fun.” Ugh, sciences.

Anyway, a big worry of mine has been satisfying all the requirements of my degree. I’ve got all of the “easy” stuff covered, but I’m getting to the point where I need to complete upper-level classes for disciplines outside of my degree… which I was actually really worried about because I wasn’t sure that I completed enough second-year classes to move onto third and fourth years outside of creative writing. But, because I was so worried about it, I did some research and I’ve found that I don’t really need to do any second-year classes to take third and fourth years unless they are super specialized. So I can still take a bunch that would satisfy those requirements without taking any more second or first-year classes. I might end of taking another first-year class even though I don’t really need to so that I can get access to some higher level classes that I’m really interested in taking. But, that’s still something I need to figure out for sure before I decide on anything.





Black Desert Online

Hey guys,

It feels kind of weird to actually be working on another blog post within a week of writing the one before this. What?! I’ve actually found time to do something that’s not directly related to school? I know, it’s almost a tragedy. But I found out, when writing my previous post, how stressed I was about school. I mean, obviously I’ve been pretty stressed about school and I’ve been aware of it, but I guess I never really realized the extent of it until I wrote that post.

Anyway, the reading break has started and I’ve got a week off from classes. I’ve still got like three essays due by the end of the break, but without the need to go to classes, I’ve got a lot more time. That means more time spent taking care of myself, video games, and, yes, surprisingly enough, writing that isn’t for school.

I’ll probably talk more about the things I plan on writing in the near future, but today I actually wanted to talk about the video game that I’ve been playing near-obsessively since the beginning of 2017’s summer. Well, I actually started playing in Oct 2016, took a break, then started playing again.

The game is called Black Desert Online, and it’s a Korean Mass Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG) with a huge focus on Player vs Player (PvP) combat. But there’s so many things you can do besides that– hunt bosses, cook, go fishing, or other lifeskills that don’t involve combat at all, let alone PvP. Overall, there’s a lot to the game. I admit, when I initially started playing, I was a bit overwhelmed and that’s part of why I stopped playing for a while… though a large part of it was actually my computer basically dying on me for a while (and not because of school, hehe).

As of late, I haven’t been doing much PvP, or, really, playing much at all. I get maybe a few hours tops a week to actively do anything in the game, which is usually consumed by the events organized by my guild, and not to actually do something that I want to do. But that’s fine, I’m happy just doing a little bit of whatever because I can’t really stand killing monsters for 10 hours straight anymore just to get a couple % of the way toward my character’s next level.

A big plus, for me, is that a lot of progress can be made in the game without actually playing. I can set my character to do something and she will do it until her inventory is full or until some other condition isn’t met anymore. So, I can leave the game doing something for hours without touching it, giving me lots of time to do homework and still getting that sense of progression in the game.

I think that’s really all I have to say about it. I mean, honestly, I could write for hours about how beautiful the game is and about all the different things you could do, but all I wanted to do for now was just mention it. Maybe if you’re into MMOs, you should take a look at it.



Hey everyone.

It’s been a while since my last post, though not for lack of trying. I’ve written thousands of words for “future” blog posts that have just been shoved into the depths of the Cloud and will never see the light of day.

Why? Well…

I was actually going to write about the why, except the why was affecting the post I wanted to write. So, I ended up using a nifty trick I learned at university to jump over that wall– which was to schoolify it. That basically means I’ve turned the topic into one of my assignments, and since I’m very strict about getting my homework done no matter what, it’ll get written.

That just means not very many people who actually read this blog will ever see it.

But, well, that really depends on the grade I get. If I score high, I’ll probably keep it to myself, stored away for only a couple lucky peoples’ reading pleasure. If I don’t, I might edit it and post it here for the hell of it. So I guess we’ll see what happens. (Funny how the why is what determines whether or not anyone will ever read about the why.)

Anyway, so what am I actually going to write about right now, then? That’s a good question. I’ve set out to write a blog post because I’ve been asked a couple times to start posting again and have always said that I would, but, of course, never have. I thought it might be a good time to get back into the habit of it.

Getting back into the habit of writing… Sigh, sometimes it can be hard. I’m pretty proud of the fact that I don’t let this so-called “writers’ block” keep me from writing, but even if I’m able to write even when I don’t have anything to write about… Well, to say the least, there are other things that keep me from letting out my ideas. Stress is a big one. The why is another. The to-do list that always includes writing but is always so long that writing is put at the bottom and never reached is another.

To-Do Lists. Maybe that’s what I’ll write about.

Or maybe the neverendingness of them. Some things need to be done by certain hours or days, some things the “deadlines can be extended” into the ever-so-popular oh, that can just be done tomorrow, I’ve already done so much today or the well that didn’t really need to get done anyway. But everything needs to get done. What are seconds of the day for, if not for getting something that needs to be done, done?

Truth be told, I’m exhausted

of the twenty things on the list with three that don’t get done by the end of the day. Exhausted from the resulting, overwhelming sense of failure that always comes because I couldn’t find the time to sweep the kitchen floor or go to the gym or start on the notes for that paper due in twelve days, the one that I Have To Get An ‘A’ On Or My Life Will Be Over.

Truth be told, I’m exhausted

of the twenty things to do each day. Eleven slots designated for homework and studying, three for the guild (don’t get me started on the guild); three for around-the-house chores that tend to always get done (because I need a break from studying and doing homework or I will scream and pull out my hair); two for writing (that almost never get done, unless I force myself to do them first and live with the all-nighter that comes from not getting my homework done by 10pm); and one for myself, which is always the first thing I look at and the last to be remembered because I can’t afford time for myself.

Truth be told, on Monday I took a day for myself. And it felt great.

The weekend was stressful. Tension with friends, too many deadlines, The Coming End Of (My) World, homework, work-work that doesn’t get done, the broken to-do lists, journals, essays, videogames that feel more like homework than fun, my attempts at cooking, the cross-hairs that appear over my cat’s heads after they break something that I needed in order to survive another week at school.


Now that I think of it, I didn’t really do anything on Monday. I went to the gym in the morning because that makes it easier to get through the day. But I skipped class (I told my profs I was stressed and they told me to take the day off), I didn’t do any homework for Tuesday, which I am regretting now that it is Tuesday and I have no time and too much homework; I didn’t really write or read or do anything important. I just had a really good nap. But you know, it was still great. It was great to not feel obligated to do something with my time.

Well, that’s a lie. I did feel obligated to do something with my time, because I always do, and it’s nigh impossible to just “forget” that for one day. If you’re going to forget to do something on purpose, I say you need a few days to actually accomplish that process of forgetting.

And I think sometimes it’s good to take a couple days to forget about your responsibilities and just be you for a while. Maybe I’ll find the time to do that. Or make the time. I don’t know.


Year One Officially Over

Hey guys!

I finished my finals about 10 days ago but I just got my grades yesterday (B, A-, A-, A-, pretty good!). I’ve spent the last twoish weeks relaxing and catching up with video games and anime, but it’s pretty much time for me to kick myself back into gear and start working again…

But before I do that, I wanted to recap a bit on the year and what’s been going on.

So I’ve been going to UBCO to study creative writing. Had to take a second language, chose Japanese, am having fun but am also struggling to hell with it (guess which grade was Japanese, hah). I’ve been excelling with the creative writing side of things though, which I’m happy with.

A quick mention of all my classes. I’ve taken three Creative Writing classes (intro to fiction and drama, intro to poetry and creative non-fic, and second year writing popular fiction with an emphasis on writing young adult), an introduction to Anthropology, an English focused on narrative and writing essays, and two first-year Japanese.

I’m only briefly going to mention my endeavours with Anthropology here– I planned on writing a whole post about that but haven’t gotten around to it yet, so maybe if that’s something your interested in hearing about, keep and eye open for that. That said, a bit on anthropology… I decided to take it this last semester and probably will take more classes in the future, not really because I have a distinct interest in anthropology, but because culture is something I really want to ingrain into my novels because it’s important for character and worldbuilding. Plus theorycrafting and all that stuff is lots of fun.

I’ve probably mentioned it before but I really dislike English courses. Unfortunately, they are a heavy requirement for my major, so I’m kind of stuck with taking them. I don’t mind the reading or the discussions, but the essays are brutal. Honestly the writing itself I can handle, research is a bitch but I can do that too, I just really really hate the stupid citation styles that are used. They’re different for literally every class (and reasonably so, but still) and I hate it. Takes whatever bit of joy I have for writing essays and throws it right out the damn window. Ah, well… I’ll probably get used to it.

That said about essays, I was considering taking a minor in history but seeing as that’s my boyfriend’s major and all he does is write essays for those courses, I’m not so sure that’s what I want to do anymore. But my first history course isn’t until this summer, so we’ll see how I fare with that before I jump in either direction. Anyway, with that, I wandered off a little from what I was talking about.

Creative Writing was straight forward; Wrote some baller short stories my first semester (one that I’m going to try and get published this summer), started learning how to write poetry (still got a lot to learn but I’ve improved– I even did a reading in front of the class! I’ll talk about that sometime), tried and failed to write creative non-fiction (it’s fun just not my thing, I enjoy making shit up too much), and made some excellent progress on one of my novel works in progress, Desolace. I’m going to make some more detailed posts for these things individually later, I think, because there’s a lot I want to talk about in regards to that.

Then there’s Japanese. What a bitch. I really love the language, it’s just super hard. I’ve fallen off a bit with my practising and studying since the end of the semester, but I think I needed a break after all the effort I’ve put into it over the last eight months. I intend to continue studying Japanese over the summer and next year so I can still use it as my language credit for my degree, but I’ll talk about my plans in more detail later on since I’ve put a lot of thought into that and I’d love to share a bit.

AND, with all of that, I’ve earned 21 credits, which is 6 short of completing a full first year. I’m not too upset about that because I only took three classes for my first semester, as I was worried about becoming overwhelmed and doing really bad. But because three classes went well first semester I went up to four in the second semester, which also went well and gave me enough free time to not burn out on school. So next year I’ll likely end up taking four classes each semester. That’ll still leave me three credits short of advancing another year, but there are a couple classes I want to take that are offered over the summer, so at least for this year and next year I’ll be set to advance to second and third years with no problem (fourth year is a big fat unknown until I get to that point).

So yeah, summer classes. Those start on May 15th and I’m taking some less academic stuff that’ll keep me busy and still work toward my degree. I really don’t want to work full-time over the summer, so this gives me a perfect opportunity to do half and half. 🙂 But with three classes this summer and at least one next summer, I should be set to advance to second-year by the end of summer, and third-year by the end of next summer, assuming I stick to my plans and take a total of eight classes next winter and fall semesters.

Anyway, I think this turned into a big ramble, but it’s one am and I just felt like writing something. Will be posting regularly again!



February and March Anime!

I missed my post for February because I was lazy/ busy/ whatever, so I’m just gonna throw in what I watched from then in this post as well.

So let’s see… I watched the rest of Fate/Zero, Fantasia Doll, started Cowboy Bebop, and watched the available Nyanbo episodes. I’ve let Trickster episodes pile up so I can watch them all at once, I’ll get around to that once I finish Cowboy Bebop.

Fate/Zero was pretty amazing. I watched it kind of a while ago now so I can’t recall all of the details, but the animation was gorgeous, the magic was really cool, the characters were great, and the story was pretty good. It’s basically about some preset magical war that begins between a couple magical houses. They get to summon these cool “avatars” based off of historical figures that fight on their behalf. It ended a lot differently than I expected, but looking back on it, I think that may have been because I was so caught up in the story that I didn’t see the hints.

Fantasia Doll was alright, but it was a little too cutesy and cliche for my tastes. It reminded me of Cardcaptor Sakura (in a good way) and though they kind of used the card aspect a little differently than most card game animes, it still feels weird to watch an anime about people playing a card game.

Cowboy Bebop is great so far, but I’m only a couple episodes in so I’ll talk about that once I’m done or at least further through.

I’ve saved talking about Nyanbo for last because I love, love, love this show. It is most definitely a kids cartoon and the episodes are only five minutes long, but it’s just so loveable. From what I can tell, the actual plot is very minimal. The characters are these box-looking “alien” not-cats that act like cats and have strange powers. They don’t know why or how they came to Earth, but one of the main characters is set on them rebuilding their UFO so they can get back into space. And they actually do find UFO pieces throughout the show. I don’t know, it’s just adorable and funny and super easy to get into, so I guess that’s why I like it. 🙂

Well, that’s all I’ve watched for now!



Yesterday was my last day of classes for the second semester. I suppose the year isn’t officially over since there are still exams, but without classes left, I feel like it’s close enough to the end to start celebrating.

It feels pretty good to have made it through the whole year. I mean yeah, I’m still taking summer classes, but that’s a little different. I was expecting to make it to the end and absolutely dread the coming year, but it didn’t end up like that at all.

Okay, so kind of a funny story. Last summer when I was deciding what classes I was going to take this year, there was this creative writing class (the second year one I took this semester) that I really wanted to take. The pre-requisite on it was two completed English courses, though, and since I really don’t like English, I was most definitely not going to take two in my first ever semester.

I ended up emailing the prof, she’s pretty great and said I could register without the credits, I just needed to sign a prereq waiver. After that, it was all said and done and I didn’t think about it again until a couple of weeks ago when I started thinking about what classes I want to take next year. Cue absolute panic.

Let’s take a few steps back for a moment. I wanted to take my second English class over the summer, but no first-year classes were being offered. I was kind of upset about this at first, but in the end, I decided it was fine and that I could just take the second English in the first semester of my second year. But the reason I was trying to take the second English over the summer was because I assumed that I needed two in order to take any second-year Creative Writing classes, and I’ve taken all of the first-year ones already. So because I thought that I wasn’t going to be able to take any Creative Writing classes in my first semester next year, I was really, really upset.

But of course, I’m just a fucking idiot. After about a week of worrying, there was one night that I couldn’t go to sleep because I was super stressed about this. I ended up logging into the university website and browsing the course catalogue, which is where I discovered my idiocy. Only some classes had two English courses as prereqs, there were many with one or none. And the two that I would want to take next year only required the completion of the corresponding poetry or fiction first-year class, both of which I’ve completed. So all that panic for nothing.

Now, I’m really looking forward to next year. I can’t wait to get into some intermediate workshops and work on some new short stories or continue with my novel. I suspect that with this to look forward to, the summer will be long, but enjoyable. I’ll get into more detail about that in another post, but for now, let’s just say I’ve got a couple writing goals in mind for over the next couple of months.


Learning to Draw

I’ve always loved drawing. There’s something about taking a pen or pencil or something and just letting the lines flow, kind of like I do with words. It’s a different kind of creative work… but it’s one that sometimes works the same, in the sense that every now and then stuff just comes out.

I’m not very good at drawing. I used to be pretty okay, back in high school, but since then I eventually stopped because I opted to pursue other interests. Now, though, at least over the last couple of months, I’ve been trying to pick it up again, although this time approaching it from a technical perspective. By that, I mean I’m trying to learn and master the skills I need to make consistently good drawings. Of course, it will take a long while and a lot of work before I’ll draw anything “good,” but I feel like I’m learning some valuable stuff…

It’s a really slow process, learning to draw. That’s probably because I don’t have the time or patience to dedicate multiple hours to it a week, but I digress. It is one of those things I’d like to be able to do without too much thought, eventually. I don’t expect that to happen anytime soon.

Right now, I’m just using online tutorials to learn stuff, but in the summer I’ll be taking a formal course at the university. Oddly enough, a drawing class is one of the requirements for my degree, so I guess it works out?

Maybe I’ll post a couple drawings sometime– once I’ve drawn something I’m happy with. 🙂


A Japanese Journal

I’ve been considering for a while getting a journal for me to write exclusively in Japanese since I want to get into using the language regularly and improving upon my use of grammar, kanji, etc. When I first had this idea, I was pretty sure I had an extra notebook laying around and went to go look for it, but unfortunately, I couldn’t find it. So, for the last couple weeks, I’ve been thinking about buying a nice cute one that’s actually Japanese and uses Japanese inside the notebook.

What I ended up getting was a Hobonichi Techo, a planner, not a notebook, but one that has note pages. Since I was considering getting a handwritten planner anyway, I figured this would be a really good in-between and guarantee that I’ll actually use it. I’ll post pictures of the one I got on Instagram once it arrives– it should be here in the next couple of days. 🙂


Summer Classes

So I guess it’s official that I’m taking summer classes.

I decided a couple of months ago that it makes more sense for me to go to school for as much of the year as possible. As much as I love writing, when I’m writing for work I’m more focused on writing for other people than for myself, even if I do make time for my own writing. But so far this year with school, even through all my classes and assignments and other bullshit, I’ve made quite a bit of progress without any additional stress. That’s actually because in one of my creative writing classes I haven’t really had to write anything new, but rather I’ve been able to work on Desolace and flesh out scenes I’ve already got in my head. I’m not sure how much more of that I’ll be able to do, but I think that as I get into the higher level creative writing classes, things will become more focused like this, rather than super generalised like both of the first-year creative writing classes I’ve taken. Fingers crossed!

But on top of that, school, overall, has kept me productive and active. I’ve been working on a bunch of stuff– writing (personal and for school), drawing (personal and for school), I’ve been actively studying Japanese — rather than playing lots of videogames. You know, I would like to have time to play games every now and then when I want to, but right now about 80% of my time is devoted to school related activities– mostly because Japanese is a pain in the ass.

The summer, though, will be pretty light on class time, so I’ll be able to get lots of writing done on the side and (if I want to) even some work. I’ll probably make time for both. I’m planning on taking a history and two arts classes– one drawing, the other digital media. I’m not really sure what the second one entails, but it’s required for my degree, so I figured it would be good to get that out of the way over the summer. The history I’ll be in is about the ancient world, like Egypt and Rome and a couple other places. Pretty generalised, but I’m still looking forward to it, nonetheless.